You don’t Mess with the Zohan

What is the point in warring all the time? Why can’t we all just live in peace? Israel’s deadliest counter-terrorism commando, Zohan (Adam Sandler) asks, in You Don’t Mess with the Zohan. You can see he’s had more than enough of this degenerate enmity that isn’t doing anyone any good.

Sandler tells his mummy and daddy about his ambition. He wants to quit his job and become a fashion haircutter. But his parents laugh in his face and the army doesn’t even allow him time off for vacation. So, he fakes his death, changes his name to Scrappy Coco, and runs away to the land of dreams.

There is a lot that is plain vulgar. The remaining bits of the acting, dialogues, and scenes in the film (inspired by a real-life story) will have your sides in splits. And this is odd. For, the satirical sketches, such as that of an Arab and an Israeli playing ping pong with an unpinned grenade, are no laughing matter.

Sandler convincingly plays a “pushtak”, the stereotype Israeli character with an exaggerated swagger who believes he is great while the world looks at him like he’s a fool. I really wouldn’t know whether anyone would get a high watching Sandler’s erotic head massages and the innumerous close ups of his oversized crotch doing a pelvic thrust, but there certainly is a continuous supply of laughs for the kind of young males who gloat over glossy Men’s magazines.

The antagonist, the Phantom (John Turturro) is neither funny nor evil looking; he’s just plain ridiculous. Dalia (Emmanuelle Chriqui) is a beauty whose practical outlook contrasts very well with the pack of “jokers” in the cast.

If you wish to be downed with a headache, you’ll want to listen to the contrived Middle-east accents voiced by the actors. The first few minutes may give you the tickle. But after an hour or so, you’ll wish to do something to stop the cacophonic bricks being thrown at your eardrums.

Dennis Dugan’s war satire is highlighted by an image of the late Moshe Dayan (who successfully negotiated a peace treaty between Israel and Egypt) that moves to that of our superhero lying in bed crying and fondling a pair of scissors. It wants to tell two bitter enemies, the Israelis and the Arabs, that harmonious co-existence is very much a reality. The way to achieve this? By simply joining forces against a common enemy.

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Film Reviews

Film critic – Deccan Chronicle, The Asian Age, Upper Stall, Dear Cinema,  Rediff, and The Film Street Journal
Features writer (past ) – The Hindu, and The Times Group

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